Don't let work define you

So many of us become workaholics, we either work one job more than 8 hours, 6-7 days a week, or we work 2-3 jobs during the week. I myself was working 3 jobs, (at the same company) but would begin work at 8:00 am and not leave work till 9:30-10:00 pm. By the time I got home, my daughter was busy, husband in bed and the house a mess. I did this for almost 7-9 years. Well I suddenly lost my job, I had been working for almost 30 years of my life. My daughter was in college, my son was living somewhere else and my husband was traveling and away alot. I got up one day and said, where is eveyone, what am I suppose to do. I was totally depressd for a long time. I would be sad, one minute, angry the next and sleep alot. I wouldn't know what to do with my self. Everything I was and did was related to my work. I didn't really know anything else. I had never been in this position before. I also was going through menopause and had those syptoms to deal with. I felt alone and realized there was no one to talk to on a daily basis like I was use too, unless I left the house or called people, but most of them were working or out with their kids. Then my son decided to get married and I was asked to be involved in the showers, wedding issues and such and asked for my opinon on things. I had never been asked these things before and I was also asked to be creative in making favors and such and host a rehearsal dinner. I was scared. I wanted everything to be nice for my son, but I had never done these things before. I had to actually write things down and think about what would be nice and what they wanted and then decide where and how to get them and afford them. It actually turned out to be fun and the rehearsal dinner and showers turned out great. I was pretty proud of myself because all I really Knew was work. After the wedding, I decided that maybe there are other things I am good at, or that I like to do.
The point of the above is that alot of us let work or our careers define who we are and then when we lose a job or career, we don't know who we are. Our self esteem was built around work, alot of us are different people at work then we are at home. WHile I was comming out of my depression, I bought some self help books and began to read about how to improve my self esteem. I thought, I could help my clients discover who they were, why can't I do it for my self. A great friend suggested using my work skills, combine with the new interests and skills I was learning and start a new career. THat was all I needed, someone to validate me. So with the help of my husband and mother, I did some research and discovered the career of being a life coach. I could do it at home, on the phone, with little start up money and could get self trained. I found an office space I could rent cheap, fixed it up, got business cards and letterhead and began my company.
Since then, alot of my friends have lost their jobs. I would share with them the importance of not letting work define who they are, and trying not to get depressed.
I have grown alot since I lost my job. I feel I have a better relationship with my children, my husband and mostly with my self. I'm realizing that there are things I like that I never knew, that I am more self reliant than I ever thought, and that I can do what ever I want if I really want to do it. Believe me, it takes a lot of patience, and work to achieve some things, especially to learn about myself, some things I learned I did't like, but I used that to help me grow my business and began to have more positive thoughts about life in general. If I had let work define me I think my life would be so different and boring right now. So next time someone asks you to try something new that is not work related, do it. You just might learn something about yourself that you didn't know. Susan