self inventory

I was doing a group for female recovering substance abusers and the topic was STep 4, Doing a Fearless Moral Inventory. For those of you not familiar, it is part of the 12 step program of AA/NA. As we were working on the step, I thought that this could easily apply to anyone, anywhere. IT is the heart and soul of recovery, if you don't do it, you will probably relapse, its that simple. If we apply it to the rest of the population, it could keep us happy, safe and out of trouble. It has to do with staying out of other peoples business, not worrying about what other people think of you or about you. It has to do with honestly looking at our selves from an objective view and assess our strengths and weaknesses. CHanging those things which are negative such as resentmens, anger, fears, dishonesty, jealousy, critizing others, and self pity. Do you know it takes more energy to have these characteristics and work like hell not to deal with them or make a change. It would be so much easier if people would do the necessary work to change these "character defects", as they say in the program. But because of these very defects, people do not make changes. People don't want to really look at them selves, they don't want to appear weak and they certainly don't want to acknowledge that these are the reasons they are negative and not happy people. Don't get me wrong, all of us have these characteristics at one time or another, it is hard not to, but if you begin to see a pattern forming thats when there could be a problem. I notice that people are only willing to become aware of there issues when they are forced to, such as going to jail, being on probation, having kids taken away. I didn't say they are willing to change, just that sometimes life forces you to notice things that you don't want to notice. In the program, addicts pick a sponsor who guides them through the 12 steps of the program. A sponsor is someone who you can trust, and is willing to be objective and not tell you just what you want to hear. I think more of us should find a "sponsor" and do the "step 4" work that is necessary to have a happy, productive and peaceful life. Susan